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Why It’s OK To Not Want Another child, Yet!

Society expects people to have two kids. Not long after you’ve had that first one, people start asking about your next offspring to join the ranks.

I love kids (obviously!). But I have to admit that although I think babies are cute, I only think that when they’re other people’s babies. Ever since I had a baby of my own I’m no longer that much of a baby person anymore. It may sound horrible to some people. Don’t get me wrong, kids are awesome but it’s just that one thing that keeps me from having another baby myself. At this moment, I’m simply thrilled that I don’t have a baby in the house anymore.

A toddler is exhausting but you get so much more from them compared to what you get from a baby. Babies are the most selfish beings on the planet because they’re helpless. Of course you know that kids (babies) are a lot of work, but if you’ve never experienced it for yourself. You don’t really know what it means having a baby in the house.

And I’m guessing there are many people out there like me.

Why I feel this way (and maybe you too)

I personally found the first 8 months the hardest, maybe even until she could walk. Of course at that point in time, it’s all great and you see your baby develop to this little human, that can actually do stuff.

I enjoyed my little girl as a baby, but if I look back on it, I love this toddler period more, she’s bigger and we can do things together.

I’m really not ready to go through this baby period again, yet. And there are many people like me. As you know from one of my previous blogs ( The perfect parent doesn’t exist. Just bet a good one! ), I’m diagnosed with CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) and this is another reason for me that’s holding me back from having another child.

Here’s the thing. I want to have another kid, just not right now.

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Timing is everything

We’re building our lives right now, and that means there’s just no room for another family member. I just want to do more than just “make it work”.

So, yes, we want another one, also for our daughter. My husband is an only child and he misses having a brother or sister. He really enjoys going to dinner with my two sisters and their husbands. What makes it even better is that they both have a kid and one of them is actually pregnant for the second time. So it’s always a full house when we meet up. It’s awesome!

I’m all for having two kids right away so they can play together, but for me it’s not an option with my CFS and I really don’t feel like it right now. So we have to make a choice. And if you have the same feelings, I think you should really consider what you want right now. For us, the choice is simple. Just one child or two but with an age difference.

I think though, that how we feel right now, is just as important as what we would like in the future.

4 comments Add yours
  1. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing something with us that I think many mothers struggle with…. We feel our hearts towards a direction that works for us but society can put such pressure… After 2 children I was happy, but done… For years different family members put in their 2 cents of why I needed more…

  2. I understand how you feel about wanting another for your daughter. That was one of the main reasons I wanted a second child. I grew up with two brothers, and when things get hard in life, no one is there for you like your family. My kids are three years apart. I thought that would be too big of a difference for them to be good friends as youngsters, but my son has told me that my daughter is his best friend. As far as the baby stage – I would go back to it for a day or two here and there, and when I see a baby, there’s a part of me that misses it. But, then I remind myself how much work it is!

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