I know it’s cliché but I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I never wanted my kid to be raised by someone else. I know sometimes you don’t have a choice. But I’m a lucky mom who can stay home with her child and also have a business.
Before our lives got awesome
I haven’t worked for over 5 years now, and by that I mean I haven’t worked for someone else. I had to leave my job when I was diagnosed with CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome). Working day in, day out, to a tight schedule wasn’t for me anymore. If I would ever do something, I had to be able to choose my own hours.
For more than 4 years I didn’t work at all, only my household chores.
My husband first worked for a big company and his job required him to travel all across Europe on a weekly basis. He always knew this was not a job he wanted to keep doing for the rest of his live. In fact, his only dream was to have a company of his own.
He started his first company 3 years ago, despite some successes, this one eventually failed. He learned a lot from it and started his current company. He does everything remote, his partner works remote and their employees are in other countries. So he does everything from home.
And that, in a way, makes us very privileged. We know this. We’re so lucky we both get to see our little girl grow up. And not just grow up, but grow up as a family.
Enter the awesome times
I’m a full time mom, and since a few months my husband and I started a business together as well. The goal? Something I can combine with motherhood and with my CFS. So, that means extreme flexibility and not too much pressure. Yes I still have bad days (or even weeks), it’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life, but although it’s frustrating, you learn to live with it.
But since we’re both at home and work at home, we have way more time together than anyone else we know. My husband works a lot of hours and on most weekdays he can’t spend much time with us. But he’s home and we always eat together.
We start our day, drinking a cup of coffee together in our pj’s, while he’s already working on his laptop. Yes he jumps out of bed and starts working right away. That’s maybe a negative thing on working at home, you never leave work. But we don’t have to put on our clothes right away and jump in to our cars to go to work. So why not start our day with a nice cup of Joe. This way he can spend a little time with his family every morning.
The evenings he’s not working or working less (sitting in the living room working on his laptop), we take a glass of wine and we talk. Our television is only there on for our daughter. We never sit in front of the television, instead we usually just talk.
You hear a lot of people complain they don’t have enough time together or they say things like we’re growing apart. But there is one thing that keeps getting in the way. I’m sure you feel as if you can’t miss your shows, but really, turn the thing off and have a conversation instead.
Yes, we’re lucky we both are home and have more time together but it’s also how you spend your time. And that’s the key I think. We once had friends tell us they needed long car rides to work on their relationship. Then again, they spend each night, sitting in front of their tv, staring in silence.
There’s not much value in this post, but I really wanted to share this experience. Maybe it helps to inspire you guys.