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Why I Feel Judged by Today’s Feminism.

I know feminism is a very sensitive subject, but I thought I’d give it a shot anyway and will try to explain why I personally feel judged by today’s feminism.

I’m a stay at home mom, I choose to be a stay at home mom, I love taking care of my little girl (like a lot of moms, also working moms) and I also love taking care of my husband. And this is just the thing, todays feminists get triggered so easily when you say things like this. Is as if you should be ashamed of yourself.

Loving it!

Yes I love taking care of my husband, I love not to worry about going to work and having my own money. I love the fact that my husband is taking care of us, money wise. Not that he ever would say it is his money. He knows what I do at home and he is very grateful for it. I take care of everything at home and also take care of all the finance at home, most of the time he doesn’t even know how much is on our bank account.

Maybe I don’t get paid to do what I do, just like every other stay at home mom, but the money that is earned is equally mine.

Depending on each other

I don’t get why we can’t depend on each other, is it so horrible to be dependent. I don’t need to earn my own money, because it is our money. My husband also depends on me. If I don’t do everything in the house and take care of our girl, he wouldn’t be able to work this hard on his own business.

Now we divide work, he makes money so we can live and do nice things and I make sure everything is taken care of at home, so by the end of the day everything is done by both of us and we can enjoy time together. And one extra nice thing because I’m a stay at home mom all work is done during the week so the weekends are ours and not for household chores.

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Feeling judged

But today’s feminists are saying I should feel bad about how we live because I have to take care of my husband and child. A women’s place is not “in the kitchen”. And I agree if you feel this way, you should not be a stay at home mom/woman, but If you love to be one, why should anyone be able to tell you otherwise?

I don’t want to go out working but they are telling me I should work and earn my own money and be independent. So they judge me simply because I want to be at home.

Now my girl is a little older, and she just started going to school. I had some time on my hands, so I decided to start a blog/business of my own and he immediately supported me, we even started it together and I’m loving it. Working on our future together as a team.

Cause you know what, that’s what we are. And I think many people have completely forgotten what that’s like.

13 comments Add yours
  1. Totally agree with what your opinions are here, my husband works and I keep the house in check, mouths fed, housework done, school runs and like you, feel judged but then I think, who gives a hoot what people think. At the end of the day if me and the husband are happy then it’s no ones business!!!

  2. Love, love, love this. I hate all the judgement going around these days. Good for you for doing what is best for your family and realizing that you are a team.

    1. Thanks Debbie, glad you like the article. You’re so right about the judgement. I hate all the social rules that are going around these days. Just do what you love and whats best for you not what others say is best for you.

  3. I felt the same way when I was married. I loved the role of being a housewife and taking care of my husband and kids …. I felt like his job was providing for us and my job was to care for him and my kids .

  4. That is such an interesting perspective.

    I completely agree that you must work or stay at home according to what is possible and what is ideal for your family. Not based on what is dictated by public opinion.

    I would love to share an edited version of this on my blog.

    Thank you so much for sharing this!!

  5. You should do what’s best for you – who cares what other people think? Why do they have to give their opinion about what other people do anyway? I work, and my husband stays home because he is on disability. I’m grateful one of us can be home with the kids, but the “role-reversal” can be difficult, because – whether feminists like it or not, men and women are different.

    1. You’re so right Karla, man and women are different and why is that a bad thing in feminists eyes. And it’s great that one of you two can stay home, and if it’s a man or a women it doesn’t matter, it’s what feels right for your family.

  6. Feminism can be a little bit scary and in-your-face sometimes. You’re absolutely right about living the way that is right for you and your family. If I want to stay home and cook and clean and play baby games, then I will. But I won’t tell the hard-working career-woman that she should do the same. So I expect her to not say it to me. Live and let live, right?

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